Friday, July 08, 2011

The Burning

Let’s start with The Burger King Incident, which doesn’t really deserve much attention. I’d mentioned it in a Facebook update and Patti suggested that I blog about it. I told her it wasn’t worth blogging. I’ve never met her, although she seems like a nice woman. She’s married to the brother of Jane, a friend from long-ago drama classes and high school and fellow-participant to everything that came with all that.

Patti follows my updates because I'd commented on something that she'd posted, she bounced something back and we read each other's blogs and there's some degree of simpatico in our attitudes. It’s the 21st century equivalent of pen pals and it spurred the impetus behind writing about something that doesn’t really deserve much attention (see above).

I witnessed The Burger King Incident across four lanes of traffic on a recent Wednesday morning at approximately 8:23am. Two Burger King employees in standard uniforms (generic short sleeved shirt, polyester pants, nametag) escorted a guy in a Burger King costume (tunic, freaky mask with built-in crown, burgundy pants, odd yellow boots) out of their restaurant. They didn’t toss him onto the street exactly, but flanked him in such a way that it encouraged his departure from their premises in the universal we can do this easy, or we can do this hard sort of way.

Once the King was ejected, the employees stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the door and stared at him wordlessly. His Highness ignored the surprised passers-by and stood a respectful distance from his former minions to plead his case, perhaps hoping to be welcomed back onto his throne as the once and future king of fast-service dining.

I couldn't hear what he was saying, but the employees were having none of it and after a minute or so the King headed west, maybe to the subway. I know of a Dairy Queen franchise a bit north of there, perhaps he was heading in that direction for solace in alternate regal surroundings.

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