Roger Ebert
Lifted directly from Wikiquote, but wouldn't change a word.
"Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times
listed [2004's] Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were
"ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that
... bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,
a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently
nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis
Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic."
Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter.
In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I
decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I
went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No
journalistic awards of any kind. ... Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer
Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate,
Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers..."
As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."
Roger Ebert (1942 - 2013)
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